I can go for long periods of time thinking very little about my childhood but sometimes it seems everything reminds me. These past few months have triggered some uneasy thoughts about my experiences when every time I turn on the tv it seems another revelation in the Saville scandal is on the news. I try to remind myself that the more people talk about taboo subjects then stigma will reduce and hopefully more children will feel able to speak out sooner and suffer less.
I sometimes wonder if I should do my bit to fight the taboo by speaking openly about my experiences but then I also have to consider what is right for me and I refuse to be defined by anything other than my achievements.
In addition to tv coverage I am also faced with this issue on a regular basis whilst working in mental health. Often people I work with are feeling despair whilst dealing with their memories of abuse and I know that in my heart the most effective way of giving hope would be to hug them and tell them I KNOW everything will get better and that their memories won’t always feel so raw. I obviously would never do this as it wouldn’t be appropriate or professional but what I am able to offer is hope in many other ways. I believe that my attitude towards the concept of hope for survivors will be a huge asset in my career
Some days it does bother me but those days are few and far between now, most days I am pretty happy with who I am.