Because Bipolar doesn’t take a day off for Christmas…

Mental illness (bipolar in my case) doesn’t take a day off for Christmas, if anything it becomes a little harder to manage. Being out of routine is difficult for most people but for people with bipolar it can be catastrophic. Catastrophic may seem excessive but being out of routine and missing meds for example can be the start of a very slippery slope and not the sort of slippery slope in a pretty white Christmas.

Keeping a regular routine despite the festivities is vital, sleep being the most important of all. Keeping to a regular sleep pattern is probably easier to manage this year than any given there are no parties or events because of Covid but it is still a ‘different’ time of year. I know my routine can be thrown by something as simple as staying up late to watch a film, it can mean I forget to take my meds at usual time or that I am tired the next day with less sleep if I go to bed late and we all know where tiredness leads to. The fork in the road for tiredness is a major trigger for me to go one of two directions and neither have a good destination. One night tiredness and I’m tired, two nights and I’m exhausted and three nights generally all of a sudden I don’t feel like I need sleep at all.

Looking after oneself is vitally important, self care is essential. Self care can be something as simple as leaving enough time to bathe in peace or taking five minutes out to enjoy a hot chocolate. It can also be about saying NO. Something lots of people, regardless of mental illness are not so great at is saying no when being asked to either take on extra tasks or enter into additional festivities when you have no energy left. Self care is preserving that bit of energy and saying no when you feel like you should say yes or even harder saying no when you want to say yes but know its the sensible option.

Probably the most important part of self care for me is making sure I drink enough, I’m on a high dose of lithium so need to drink sufficient to keep me well. During the holidays its easy to be seduced by all the nice fizzy drinks (or the odd alcoholic drink) and not drink enough water or squash. Repeat after me girl… DRINK!!!

I spent Christmas 2010 on a psychiatric ward and Christmas 2016 and 2019 having ECT so don’t remember them, looking at my patterns we have ruled out a seasonal element so I do wonder if the additional pressures of managing work whilst shopping for Christmas and attending nights out, church events and preparing the dinner all whilst my hubby who is an entertainer and is out most of December is a factor. Turns out I’m great at telling people to say no but not great at doing it myself! I won’t even begin to share with you a Christmas with Hypomania cos that’s a whole other story…

Each year now I am determined to make it up to my daughter who at age 14 has missed out on three Christmas’s with her mum but doing so I put more pressure on myself. The impact of Covid this year has been mainly negative on my mental health, anxiety like I have never known, but for Christmas it has actually helped me to not have the parties, not have the pressure of people coming over for Christmas dinner (as much as I usually love that I do find it pressured), I haven’t had to say no because this dreadful virus has taken those decisions for me.

This year I have prepared earlier than usual and ticked things off my list which has relieved some of the pressure. I have ordered my meds early to relieve the pressure of that shiiiiiit I have run out moment. I have ensured that my husband has the number for the crisis team whilst hoping and praying he will not need it. I am not being too hard on myself for the three Christmas’s I have missed, if I concentrate on that I won’t be able to make new memories will I?

Mental illness does not take a day off for Christmas, if anything it becomes more difficult to manage so if this is you then plan, plan for a safe relaxed Christmas, it’s one day and the world won’t stop if you forgot the stuffing or didn’t wrap great aunt Doris’s gift. All I want for Christmas is continues stability into next year which I am enjoying at the moment albeit with the constant niggle of ‘when next?’. I can only live in the moment though and hope for the best.

So give yourself a break and remind yourself that your health is the most important gift of all, I’m not guaranteeing you wellness just sharing what I have learned the hard way in the hope it might help you too. I truly hope you have have a joy filled and peaceful Christmas.