Faith in Hope and Hope in Faith…

On a form if I am asked for ‘Religion’ I always put RC or Roman Catholic and recently I have questioned my allegiance to the Catholic Church. By this I do not mean I have questioned my faith as I feel strongly that I am guided in life but I mean that some of the actions or lack of actions of the Catholic Church have disturbed me and also I have been questioned as to how I can class myself as a catholic when I use contraception. I feel this blog may be as much for me to work out my thoughts on being a modern catholic woman as for me to share these thoughts with you.

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Tess of the D’Dubervilles…

Why do I find dieting so hard? Why can I not be happy when I look in the mirror?
I remember when I was at school studying ‘Tess of the D’Urbervilles’ understanding on a deep and very unfortunate level why Tess felt the need to shave off her eyebrows to disguise her beauty to men following her rape. I knew what it meant to wish that I hadn’t been so appealing in that way. Continue reading

Memory lane is a long road….

I can go for long periods of time thinking very little about my childhood but sometimes it seems everything reminds me. These past few months have triggered some uneasy thoughts about my experiences when every time I turn on the tv it seems another revelation in the Saville scandal is on the news. I try to remind myself that the more people talk about taboo subjects then stigma will reduce and hopefully more children will feel able to speak out sooner and suffer less. Continue reading


I should be used to the question by now… ‘So why do you want to be a mental health nurse?’

I usually witter for a few minutes about reassessing my life and career after I had a spell being unwell after having my little girl. I never offer the information but if I’m pushed I have been known to admit that I had post natal depression. I hate that word ‘admit’ like I am guilty of something. I have no guilt or shame over my mental health and have spoken openly about it for years but being used to assumptions made often by people who should know better I usually stay quiet in a new workplace. Once people get to know me and respect me for who I am and what I am capable of I am more than willing to be open. Continue reading

Bad day or unwell?

Bad day? Or unwell?

It may seem like the most simple thing in the world to know whether you have had a bad day or whether you are unwell with a relapse of mental illness. It’s not easy at all.
I’m not sure why I get so worked up about this issue maybe it’s fear that I am becoming depressed again? To a point the reason is not important it is the way I deal with it that matters. Continue reading

Every cloud has a silver lining… Hasn’t it?

Today I am struck by how alike the weather reports are to descriptions of mood… “The black clouds are descending” “my sunny disposition” I have even been known to use the phrase saying “all clouds have a silver lining” meaning that my mental health issues have had a positive impact upon my life as well. If I had never had a mental illness I would likely still be a Human Resources Manager, still have a financially secure lifestyle and not met lots of wonderful people who I am now fortunate enough to know. Continue reading

Am I a feminist?

It seems to have become somewhat unfashionable to describe oneself as a feminist in 2013 and I can’t help but wonder why? As a modern woman do I expect to have it all? To have men open doors and pull out chairs for us then to be able to drink pints and have equal pay. I wonder if maybe it is us women who have confused the men in our society? Continue reading

‘Fine thanks, how are you?’

I am passionate about fighting the stigma which still surrounds mental illness and will always try to be as open as possible about my history of mental health difficulties. This got me to thinking though, by replying to a ‘Hi how are you?’ with ‘Fine thanks’ am I adding to the stigma?

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